THE BRO CODE
We live in a world where without laws and regulations we would be savages. The bro code is a one of a kind a set of rules that are meant to guide bros (a girl can be a bro) co-exist and have a mutually satisfying relationship. It is a code to live by and die for. Any woman (who is not a bro) found guilty of reading the code shall be ex-communicated. For the ignorant team testosterone out there, here is the code:-
1.Bros before hoes-this means that you put your bros above female friends even your girlfriends. If you look at it keenly girlfriends come and go but your boys are always there.
2.Have your bros back at all times, be it financially, spiritually or physically.
3.The Alpha bros must always teach the younger bros a thing or two about life and women.
4.A bro must always be ready to be a wingman when called upon. The duty of a wing-man is to occupy the least attractive girl of the pair so that you bro can have a shot with the hotty.
5.Women who claim to love to watch football/sports are to be treated as spies until they really prove to love sports. A woman can only be a bro upon a unanimous decision by other bros. even then she is still not to be fully trusted.( she could be on an undercover mission).
6.Whether you like sports or not, a BRO likes sports.
7.A bro never sends a greeting card or a birthday card to a fellow bro.
8.In a road trip, the strongest bladder decides the pit stop.
9.When telling your bros a story, you are allowed an exaggeration limit of 50%(beyond that a slap is in order) however when wooing a chick there is no limit(the recommended % is 400% give or take).
10.You must always bail a friend from jail unless the reason he is behind bars is killing your family members.
11.If a chic falls in this category then she is off limits- •Was an ex girlfriend •Your bro said he was interested in her •Your bros sister(step sisters and cousins are up for grabs)
12.Bromance is acceptable among bros -this refers to a complex love and affection for fellow bros. you would not understand this if you are not a bro.
13.When asked by your bros girlfriends about his whereabouts, you are not allowed to divulge any information. You can lie where necessary
14.The official standard hotness scale is 1-10 any other scale should be considered obsolete.
15.Under no circumstance may two men share an umbrella
16.The maximum amount of time you are to wait for a man is 4 minutes whereas for a lady is 10 minutes for every point of hotness in the hotness scale
17.If your girlfriends asks to set your friend up with her less hotter friend the answer is yes but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare a concrete excuse.
18.When a public urinal is being used, you must always stay a urinal apart (a buffer zone).
19.If you accidentally touch or brush any part of another man below the waist, no apologies are needed. In fact it never happened.
20.No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in the mirror.
21.If you shake it more than twice, you are playing with it.
22.If a hot chic passes by, you are obligated to alert your bro.
Best regards-fellow bro