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Apr 11

Sigei

Precautionary tips incase of terror attack

Apparently, my future wife is in eminent danger due to increase in terrorism in our country. If I had the power I would bribe the terrorists to keep off from the location you are in, the only problem is I don’t know where you are. For future reference leave a comment and your contacts below. On a serious note though, I would hate for anymore Kenyans- Muslim or non Muslim to get hurt. So here as some precautionary tips for my future wife and my fellow Kenyans (arranged in order of priority).

  1. Be observant- always be aware of your surroundings, who you sit next to, people close to you especially among large crowds. If you are inside a building familiarize yourself with emergency exits, staircases and fire extinguishers.
  2. IYSSSS- relax! I have not switched to klingon language, it is just an acronym that stands for IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING. That black bag close to you that seems to have no owner, abandoned packages, any strange heavy metal close by or even a person acting suspicious. Never make assumptions unless you are not afraid to die
  3. If you are unfortunate/fortunate (depending on the distance between you and the blast) enough to hear a blast, never run away but lay flat on your chest on the ground with the soles of your feet facing the blast. It is also advisable to spread your legs a little(too much spreading exposes the groin area) so as to at least save one leg if things go bad. Bombs are designed to explode in a funnel manner, so as to avoid the shrapnel or flying debris from hitting very delicate areas like the head it is advisable to lay on the ground . While you are on the ground breathe in small intervals so as to relieve pressure off the lungs (keep your mouth open), this is because in times crisis people take deep breaths therefore making the lungs a balloon and once the shockwaves hit them, the burst therefore leading to massive internal bleeding.
  4. Online shopping- now, this may still be new in Kenya but doing your shopping online reduces the chances of you being physically present when there is a future attack in shopping malls and such.
  5. Finally my love, always pray to GOD before you get out of the house in the morning. At least do this for me.

See you soon,

Regards - your future husband.

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